Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
