I swear she didn't look like that last week.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
