If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
