if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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