Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
