all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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