I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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