Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
