What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
