capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
