her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize