I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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