You're completely useless in the revolution.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
