North Korea, Best Korea!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
