And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
