Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
