Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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