Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
