I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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