What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
