ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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