Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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