how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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