So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
