lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize