Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm eating all of the evidence.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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