the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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