Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
