Well apparently he's into motor boating.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
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i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
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You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
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