Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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