I hate all girls vehemently.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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