Whod you bang
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize