Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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