your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
