I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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