i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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