grandma shit on top of the toilet
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
