i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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