well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
