She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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