I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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