wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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