So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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