Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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