Your mouth is God's brothel.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
