if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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