We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
