Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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