I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
