just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
