David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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