ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
