Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
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She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize