She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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