I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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