Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
