now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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