so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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