I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
