Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
