he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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