i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
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I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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