I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
